Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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