What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
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