Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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