we're blogging at a bar
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
