Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
