I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
