u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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