there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
