it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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