if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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