.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
