this beer tastes like vomit already
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
well, you know. whores of a feather.