your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.