I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
Hahaha April fools!
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Ladies don't puke and tell