So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
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U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
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I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking