I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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