he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
