I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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