Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
