Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Randomize
