Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
