your parents love me but you hate me
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
