if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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