So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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