The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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