I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
