There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Let's get the cat blown out
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
