My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
