What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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