I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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