So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i think my cat just said my name.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
