I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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