you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
