My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
