Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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