fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
