I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
