North Korea, Best Korea!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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