got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
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Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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