I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
