I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
