I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
