I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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