yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
