My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
