i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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