My hair reeks of homosexuality.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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