Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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