What did we do last night that was yellow?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
