I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
