Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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