i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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