Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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