We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
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I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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