I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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