Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
