I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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