He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
