none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
